The current kitchen is very talented. So much so, I'm considering having it audition for next season's "America's Got Talent".

The cabinets have great rhythm and love to show off. "Bonk, bonk, bonk" every time I close a door. There are a couple of doors vying for lead singer. They're yellowing so they stand out. This is sometimes accompanied by "tick, tick, tick, tick" of the stove's gas burner ignitor. Turn on the down draft all conversation stops (it's loud) and the pots and pans start dancing. The prep sink disposal chimes in, usually off cue. It's really a timing issue. All someone has to do is brush the switch and it thinks it's time to sing. Talk about being pitchy!

The group will be called Rhythm & Blues...no make that Rhythm & Yellow. Of course, if you or anyone you know, would like to own this talented group just give me a call. All reasonable offers considered. I need to pay for the remodel somehow.